Your Next Perfect Outfit is a Cat Haus Harness

“I know I’ve been a perfect bitch, but I couldn’t help myself.”

–Bette Davis

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Every so often, I get bitchy. Usually, it’s because I haven’t eaten in 6 hours, or the driver who just pulled out in front of me can’t seem to find their gas pedal, or someone omitted a serial comma in their latest Facebook post (I take that last one back—that is a totally reasonable cause for offense). But every once in a while, it’s because life conspires to keep me busier than I should let myself get, and I drag other people down with me (I apparently have never read that “poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part” sign).

This “drowning person taking their rescuer down” vignette most recently played itself out in an attempt to procure THE OUTFIT for a weekend getaway to New York, where my husband was attending a work conference, and I would spend the day bumping into Tiffany’s and Manolo Blahnik and calculating (and recalculating) how much money I’d need to make in order to live comfortably there (I think we all know the answer to that question—way more than I make now). I needed THE OUTFIT, however, because we were going to an underground party. An underground party full of New Yorkers, (or, as they are known by us mere mortals, The Style Bulletproof).

THE OUTFIT came to me in the form of an inspired strip of metallic leather.

Earlier this year, I had been introduced to Cat Haus harnesses through a friend whose daughter is one-half of the bad-ass creator duo. I immediately adored them, and owning one of these lovelies catapulted to the top of my short list of “NEED.”

However, if you hang around my Instagram feed at all, you might have noticed I have an almost-2-year-old. So it goes without saying that I have almost no time. Procuring a harness fell to a lower priority on my to-do list until the week of my trip, when I called formerly-mentioned friend in a panic and annoyingly asked if Cat Haus might be willing to ship one of their harnesses to me overnight so it I could wear it to a party that weekend (told you I’ve been a perfect bitch).

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I had some help changing out our decorations.

She put me in touch with Lady Miaou, who, instead of returning my bitchiness with (what would have been a well-deserved), “Girl, you crazy,” informed me that while Cat Haus harnesses are custom-made according to the wearer’s measurements, she would check to see if they had the leather in stock and make me one to be shipped out the next day. She even created a special shipping option for me on the website (told you they are badass).

The best news? Should you want one of these delicious little delicacies, Cat Haus is running a 40% off sale through Monday in celebration of Shop Small Saturday (check out their Facebook page for the promo code).

So you don’t have to be a bitch (even if you’d be a perfect one).

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